Why Don't the Books Tell You The True Reality Of Having A Baby?

I have received a few questions since I have started this blog, including: Is butter a carb? Wallpaper vs. Contact paper? and the always debated question, Mac or PC? However, I figured the first question is something I have had on my mind these past few days...

There have been countless people giving us advice and stories on what life is going to be like when Jen was pregnant, when we had the baby and what life was going to be like after the baby was born. However, I don't think anyone could have prepared us for the reality of having our own child...listening to every breath she takes, looking at every bowl movement and wondering if it looks normal and watching every jerk of the head to see if she is having a seizure, or just being wobbly.

I was always one to function on little sleep. In fact, after Averie was born, the first night we got about 6 hours of sleep in a 72 hour period and I still felt amazing. But the second night was an entirely different story. Averie had a meltdown from 11pm - 6am.  The video below is her meltdown just after 430 in the morning.

I think that we could solve teen pregnancy if we told them and showed them videos of what life was like with a newborn on night #2. It made me really consider, am I fit to be a parent? She screamed and cried and ate all night and nothing worked. Only at 6 when the nurse suggested a supplement of formula did she finally quiet down. Jen breastfeeding and all was going well, but she was just so hungry.  They call this "cluster feeding". This was my (and Jen's) version of Hell! The experience on night #3 was not nearly half as bad as night #2 and it seemed so much easier because we got 5 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period as opposed to 6 hours of sleep in a 72 hour period. After those two nights I then began to think what life would be like when we get home and we didn't have that nurse call button to take care of her at night. 

We left the hospital on our fourth day and we could have stayed an extra day but we were itching to try to adjust to the real world. The first event of of the real world was going to be to introduce the dogs to their sister. I had it all planned out in my head how we were going to introduce them to her. I brought home blankets that entire week so that the dogs would begin to recognize her smell. They rolled in the blankets and began to be obsessed with them like they had discovered gold. Once it was time to introduce them to her, it didn't go as I had planned. They began to be obsessed with her and wanted to jump on her and lick her but not in a good way. I had to hold them back so they wouldn't be obsessively licking.  It wasn't like they were going to hurt her but they would smother her if they had the opportunity. The great thing about this though is that Averie didn't care one bit. The dogs didn't even phase her.

Another funny thing to note is that Lola became VERY PROTECTIVE of Averie. She was guarding every little move she made and if Copper (my mother-in-laws dog) got near her, she would bark.

"Nana" Margie, Averie and her guardian Lola

Lola at her post making sure Averie didn't make a sound.

Lola guarding Averie in her swing.

The first day and night at home with Averie was miserable. Jen had to adjust from having a medical bed that moved to any height and angle she wanted to a soft couch, a bed that was too high and the risk of dogs jumping up on her at any given moment and rupturing her c-section incision. It was very stressful and the dogs became very nervous and anxious, even though we were trying to make it normal for them. Averie would cry and the dogs would freak and we would have to go in another room so that we could feed her and the dogs didn't know what to do. To add to that, to sleep at night, the dogs which have slept with us in our beds for that past 4 years now had to sleep in the room with mother-in-law so that they wouldn't jump on Jen. Jen and I decided to camp in our living room with Averie in her bassinet so that we could hear every noise and breath she made to make sure she was okay.

 Our campsite

The books and people never mentioned how nervous you are those first few nights while you are alone with your new child. It is very torturous on your body and emotions. At the doctors office today for Averie's appointment they told us that babies are more resilient then we think. I would have to agree with them because I was so nervous at every gasp thinking she was choking on her own saliva that I would wake up in a panic. The first night we got no sleep. I ended up picking her up half the night and just had her sleep on my chest so that way I knew if she was choking or not. 

Averie and I with her protectors.

The second night at home was much better for Jen, Averie and I and today was even better than yesterday. We got Averie on somewhat of a schedule and it seems to be working for now.

So why don't the books tell you the true reality of having a baby? Because if they did, people may reconsider if they were strong enough to handle having a child. But after all is said and done, I look forward to those difficult days when I get no sleep and to when Averie and I can have a conversation and disagreements. I love her so much already and look forward to an eternity with her and Jen. 

The reason people don't tell you the true reality of having a baby is because there are so many more amazing and happy stories about the richness kids bring to your life that these small annoyances and troubles go right out the window when you think of how much you love them.